La Borracha has to be one of my toughest posts ever. I have failed to key y’all in on certain parts of my journey but let me unveil the truth: I’m almost 1 year sober→ free of alcohol! This extensive mental health series will be highlighting how Latinx folks cope with pain. Gordita’s Way “My personality is not in this bottle” will dig deep into negative coping mechanisms. This title was inspired by a dear friend of mine, Liz Simmons. Liz wholeheartedly overcame a long-time journey that I am currently on, and that is the commitment to refrain from booze for 1 whole year! ¡Me escuchaste bien, si, un año completo! When I met Liz, I clearly remember telling her at my 24th birthday party, “I don’t know how you can give up liquor that long!” I never thought I had the capacity or even desire to give up liquor for an extended period of time. I had to hit rock bottom in order to realize that I am the life of the party and I don’t need liquor! I look up to her for staying strong and inspiring me, a Latina who consistently used alcohol to cope with pain. She allowed me to see that you can do anything you put your mind to, even when it does not seem attainable. Mind over matter! Thank you Liz, appreciate you!

How we cope with pain

Latinos are funny! We use alcohol to cope with our problems, comedy to hide the tears, and pride to camouflage the internalized pain. Did you know that The Cat Call reported only 27% of Latinos would seek treatment from mental health professionals? Why are we so afraid to talk about mental health & why are these issues just now coming to the forefront?! Why is it so difficult to find Latinx mental health professionals we can relate to? Luckily, Brandie Carlos, founder of Therapy for Latinx, created a specific directory of Latinx resources and mental health professionals at a low, reasonable cost. Don’t forget to follow her IG page @iambrandiec and please mi gente, utilize your resources! Brandie was on the search for a Latinx mental health therapist herself after the loss of a close friend. She encountered barriers obtaining a Latinx mental health professional, thus was inspired to create Therapy for Latinx!

Alcohol:

This is a judgement-free zone mi gente. I want to be very transparent with you all. I have consistently abused alcohol & let it deter my growth both physically and spiritually. Today marks almost a year that I have not had alcohol & I feel magnificent. I still turn up and dance on my own energy, this time without the hangover. My close friends and familia are aware of this journey and they have been extremely supportive throughout the whole process.

I’ve consistently used alcohol in the past to cope with failed relationships, numb past traumas & hide from emotional pain. How many of you have been around alcohol for so many years, that reaching for the booze is as natural as brushing your teeth when you wake up in the morning? Along with abusing alcohol, I have also used binge-eating as a subconscious coping tactic. I leaned on both alcohol and food for comfort. My relationship with alcohol became confusing because I would also use it socially and think it was okay as long as I kept it together and was pleasant. I mean if I’m not causing a mess I’m good right? Wrong! I would get real messy. I say this to be real. Y’all, I’m about to hit a nerve. How many of you have that drunk tío/tía that does not know how to handle their liquor? How many of my Latinos have gotten into nasty fights with family members that were escalated by alcohol? I’m not preaching or telling anyone to stop drinking. When I go out with my friends, they know what it is! I encourage them to drink if that’s what they want to do. Not everyone abuses alcohol when they drink. We still have a great time! I’m doing this for MYSELF!

Give up liquor and notice how many friends you weed out! I guess some peeps can’t handle you if you’re in a sober state. You want to see who your true friends are? See who supports your journey and respects your decision when you go out. Are those “friends” tempting you to drink when they know where you stand and know of your commitment? Oh snap mama I’m sorry to tell you but if you’ve created the boundary and they don’t accept it, that’s not your friend!

Comedy:

Kevin Hart couldn’t have said it any better, “Laugh at my pain.” We are strong. Somos fuertes. Some of my beautiful ladies have been through the storm and back & are still fighting. Latinas straight laugh at the patriarchy. Machismo and all its ridiculousness is real. Pero nene, yo no voy a cocinar ningún sancocho para ti. Tu ‘ta loco . I will not be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I hate cooking! Deconstructing our minds is necessary. The media has negatively portrayed our beautiful Latino men as Machistas. I don’t know about y’all, but that’s not entirely fair. Although machismo has been present in my culture and life, there are a lot of good Latinx folks out there who challenge these negative stereotypes and do better! It all starts from our homes. You know mami and papi’s little girl couldn’t get away with half the sh*t our brothers got away with! Regardless of that harsh truth, mami and papi raised respectful young men who were taught to hold open the door, help that elderly person carry their groceries, and get the occasional cocotaso when you get out of line! Hahaha!

Latinx folks have become experts at deflecting past traumas through comedy and jokes. We joke about those chanclas and ass whoopings from childhood. Y’all know what I’m talking about! We laugh about our drunk tío who fell down at the party. We laugh about our family brawls during the holidays. We laugh, and we live long! Laughter is therapeutic, just like dancing! Familia, regardless of dysfunctionality, is still familia. If you’re a proud Latinx person, you know familia is everything!